music brings me to tears

This is the song that brought tears to my eyes the first few measures of song…
“Consume me, from the inside out.”

A thousand times I’ve failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I’m caught in your grace

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
My heart and my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Chorus 2x
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out
- Hillsong

blessed beyond measure

It’s just about midnight; I’m starting to get chilled and think I should grab a wrap from inside.

I’m sitting out on my balcony and am enjoying the lovely summer weather. The neighborhood kids are enjoying sparklers and front yard fireworks and the moon is a brilliant hue. It’s a clear night. I can hear the low hum of traffic far off and an ambulance in the distance.

I’m thankful for where I am at. I absolutely adore my new abode. Absolutely love it.

It’s so “me.”
Anna came over today and pronounced the same…
:)
Warm, cozy…and it really is almost exactly my style…and now with suede chocolate brown couch covers, it really is my style – down to the lay out and the wood and the wood work and the color scheme and the floor plan and the balconies…and just everything.

I feel so blessed.
–
Tonight I had dinner with my momma to celebrate Mother’s Day and both of our birthdays. We went to one of my favorite restaurants – a vegan restaurant – and sampled a bunch of different things. It was phenomenal. :) A lovely time. Then, after a few hours of visiting, we stood outside for another hour visiting…in the dark in a parking lot…probably not the wisest idea but we don’t get to visit together very often. :)

Last week, when I was upnorth with Anna and Randy, I saw a sewing machine that Anna’s mother had just purchased…I happened to mention I’d been wanting one for the last few years – when I moved out of Mom’s house, I lost access to the sewing machine I grew up using…

Well…tonight…Mom, not knowing about that conversation last week, told me she had a gift for me…she had me go to her car to open it because it was too heavy. And it was the exact brand of sewing machine Anna’s mother just purchased that I inwardly envied!!!! How amazing is that??? I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited. And feel like God just gave me a very personal gift through the generosity and love of my mother. :) She also gave me a beautiful 1928’s necklace (I love that style), scarf/shawl and the dvd “Once.” I had no idea she’d be showering me with gifts. Such a fun evening of great food, wonderful company and lovely presents.

My mother is so good at giving gifts. She knows exactly what I want/need or what I simply would like – she’s dead on 99.9% of the time…it’s amazing to me. :)

We are very similar…granted. She has a harder time with my other siblings…but with me, she can pick out anything and I’ll love it. :)

ANyway, I was eyeing that sewing machine for a while; I’d even price checked it months ago…didn’t tell anyone, and staved off purchasing it because while I “could” it was not in my budget and I don’t have the means, really, to buy a sewing machine. So I feel like God just gifted me in such a loving way with the exact machine I was dreaming about.
CRAZY!
And she totally surprised me. :) :) :) Had no idea.
I cannot wait to get some mending done that I’ve put off for a few years and perhaps start finishing some quilts I’m in the middle of making. :)
Wahoo!!!
So excited.
–
Yesterday, I gave a talk for work to a bunch of college students; they all seemed to like it and engage with it…I get a high after giving a talk – I absolutely love it. Then I dashed off to an Italian restuarnt to have some good food and wine for dinner. Then everyone came over to my place and I made us tea/coffee and we sat on my balcony until we went to an 11 p.m. showing in an IMAX theatre of the new Transformers movie. I hadn’t seen any previous movies…it was good, not great – not enough plot or depth and not scary enough…but still good and it was fun to watch with friends.
My old roommate came home with me at 2 a.m. and crashed and we had a lazy morning today…I took a vacation day today and it has been utterly lovely…
Then I talked with a friend for a while.
Then Anna came over to hang out. And we caught up and watched a bit of a movie.
And then I dashed off to one of my favorite downtowns to have dinner with Mother.
It’s been a lovely, full, restful, restorative, happy, joyful day.

:) :) :) :) :)

planning…dreaming…goal setting

I’m in the midst of revising my year-long work plan/goals for next year; I feel mildly erratic at the moment and restless…so many areas to think of and so much to pull together for a cohesive plan and I’ve been working on it for a few hours today and my brain…wants a break. Maybe I’ll make some tea to accompany me on this break. Anthropomorphizing tea. Nice, Christy.

–
It’s a grey day…I realized I was slowly dehydrating my plants so did a rescue watering mission; I hope they perk up…I inherited them…would be sad if I managed to neglect them. I’m thinking future plan acquisitions need to be…of the cacti family.
–
I want to take a walk but I need to do laundry and pack for tonight’s trip; I got back from my last trip (personal) at 10:30 p.m. last night; leaving for a work trip tonight. Life feels very full. :)
–
Had a lovely weekend at the lake. More later perhaps on that if I feel inspired to write. :) Right now, I need to get back to this monstrous document. ;p It’s exciting to see how much I accomplished last year via my annual plan…it’s just hard for me to think about committing myself to plans and goals for all of next year…I don’t like boxing myself in…or planning even dinner plans for later this week – let alone planning commitments for a year out. Yikes. ;p

–

I feel restless at the moment.  Need to take a stretch break.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  And re-focus.

happy it’s friday :)

Just made some ranch dressing for lunch later today.
–
I want the piano music to “The Piano” soundtrack…my sister knows the piece by heart so I’m hoping she comes through for me.
–
Getting ready to head up north for the weekend. Sooo excited for this weekend vacation trip. :)

Time on the lake; some walks in the woods perhaps? Spending time with two of my best friends, Anna and Randy.

So excited.
Now to find my bathing suit…I still haven’t fully unpacked from the move, haha…

Hmm…

parenting

I wonder what kind of wife I’ll be. (No, I haven’t said “yes” to a proposal, just thinking hypothetically.)

In a conversation with a friend yesterday, he asserted that some of my music would have to go when I had children…and the minute he implied that I had music I’d have to give up, my feathers got all ruffled.  I don’t like being told what to do…which wasn’t his intention…but beyond that…I grew up with legalism (though my mother isn’t that way anymore) and so I’m especially sensitive when it comes to music…I totally see not listening to some music around children…but then…that is what headphones are for…I dunno.  I definitely will have to think through that one day should I have kids…until then, it’s not really an issue, but it has me thinking.  What are the sacrifices I”ll make if I were to become a mother and furthermore, what shall I let my kids be exposed to and how much shall I shelter them during their formative years?  It’s a delicate balance, done with a lot of grace…and the outcome is the Lord’s…but it terrifies me, raising children, while simultaneously exciting me.

Anyway.  I’ve been told I think too much and think ahead to possible future realities way too much.  To those who decry my thought-life…I just point to my Meyer’s Briggs personality profile AND Marcus Buckingham’s Strength-finder results…one of my “strengths” determined by both tests is that of strategic thinking and looking forward to the future and testing and trying out all possible outcomes, etc… ;p  Makes sense of my whole life, looking back.  I was already thinking about what kind of mother and wife I wanted to be, what kind of character, etc. by the time I was nine years old and whenever I had a conflict with mother over parenting styles, thinking through how I’d parent and discipline children and how I’d run a household, etc.

lol.

The older I grow, the less sure I will be a good parent I am and the more my abilities come into question.  At 11, I was going to be an amazing parent.  At 18, I was going to be a great parent.  At twenty-seven, I’m asking myself if I want to subject lovely little ones to my sin and failures as their mother.  ;p

happy

I think I’ll be going to see the Phantom this year – so incredibly excited. :) :) :)  It’s been on my list of shows to see since I was eleven years old.

Weeeeeeeeeeee!  Very excited. :) :) :)

rest and review

Saturday, I awoke to a canker sore, which means, almost inevitably, a full blown cold is on its way.  I’m really hoping that is not the case, but last week, I was exposed to so many different sick people, I’ve been kind of preparing for the inevitable.  Alas, today I woke up with a bit of a swollen lymph node.

Vitamins, extra vitamin C, lots of water and rest are in order.

I have a full weeks’ worth of vacation time I forgot to take this year.  (Yeah.  What is wrong with me?)  I think that for the last few years, with working two jobs, I just got so used to using my vacation time for the other job that to actually HAVE real vacation time to use just sort of eluded me.  Until I realized that if I don’t use my time by June 30th, I lose it.  Whoops.  There’s almost no time to take it with all that I need to get done before our fiscal year ends…and yet…I don’t want to lose that time.

Today I was going to spend an active day unpacking…but with being under the weather and wanting to fight this, I’ve just been really relaxing and resting and it’s been lovely.

My annual review is Wednesday.  I know I’ve had an amazing year this past year…and yet…with my INFP tendencies to care about what others say…I’m nervous about the actual review process – mostly because I have a hard time reading my supervisor.  I’ll be happy when it’s done and over.  On an intellectual level, I appreciate the feedback and the opportunity for growth, etc…but on the emotional level, reviews are always difficult for me.  Plus, I helped pick out a number of people to also review me who are intimately familiar with my work and I purposefully chose some people with whom I’ve had conflict this past year because I know my style of leadership and work is different than their’s, so I hope their constructive criticism will be really helpful to me.  I’m simultaneously eager and anxious to see what they had to say. ;p

This week feels full.  I’m finally almost done sorting through boxes and boxes of paperwork.  So, after today, I should at least know where all of my office paperwork and resources are…my goal this summer is to de-clutter and organize big-time…but it’s good to finally be almost done unpacking my office boxes.  :)  Hopefully I can finish that up today without too much energy exerted.

I think I’m going to go make some tea.

It feels so nice to have a vacation day today and just be able to rest. :) I’ll probably do a few hours’ worth of work today just because I have some deadlines coming up…but not to have a full day is lovely.

Enjoy today. :)

tears

Before Dad passed away, I rarely cried. Now, it seems like, I’m a veritable waterworks whenever anything tugs at my heart.
Tears come easily…as I’m unpacking, I have the television on and just saw an “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” clip and of course the show is meant to be a tearjerker…but…it jerked my tears. ;)
As much as it is difficult to have lost Dad when we did, I’m thankful it opened me up to empathy and compassion in ways that wasn’t accessible previous to his illness/death.

mhmm

“I think that possibly maybe I’m falling for you.”
Commercial jingle…but beautiful song. :)

soul mate

This song doesn’t have much by way of content but I randomly heard the below highlighted lyrics and they struck me. :)

Incompatible, it don’t matter though
‘cos someone’s bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You’re not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you’re in disguise

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There’s enough for everyone
But I’m still waiting in line

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They’re all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

- Natasha Bedingfield

processing

Because of Paul’s teaching in Acts…I’m having to think about how I dress.

The freedom and liberty I experience as a follower of Jesus who is also a woman is fabulous; but I’m living in a community in which women are oftentimes not free, both in their relationships but also in how they dress. The onus is on them to cover up, as if there is something inherently wrong in their femininity and sexuality and for that reason, they must be covered up completely.  I’m all for responsibility and using one’s feminine wiles/charms responsibly and being aware of the power one has as a woman but when it comes to having to cover up so extensively so you don’t attract men, etc…that just grieves me because it puts the burden of responsibility upon the woman primarily.  I know the arguments are much more nuanced – I have had and have close M. friends, both male and female and parsed this subject extensively with them.  But when it comes down to it, I feel like it’s quite the burden to bear and that Jesus has set us free from such burdens, among other things.

Anyway, I want to go out on my balcony but I’m wearing a sleeveless sun dress and feel like by so doing, in this covered community (some women even cover their eyes here) I would be seen as a loose woman and could also cause offense by showing too much skin.  But it’s so incredibly hot I don’t feel like putting on more layers of clothes just so I can sit outside.  So I’ll probably stay inside this afternoon.

My male friends come over for a visit.  One went to hug me goodbye in the street and I protested for a second and said “S!  Don’t hug me; we’re in a M. neighborhood!” and he said “Christy, what on earth do you think they’re going to think?  A guy enters your apartment in the afternoon and leaves an hour later. They’re going to think we did it. Who cares if I hug you goodbye at this point?”

Flabbergasted. But he’s probably right.

I’m a twenty-seven year old virgin who’s choosing to wait for marriage.  And yet I’m concerned about being seen as  a “promiscuous” woman in my current neighborhood because of the way I dress and because male friends come over to visit.  And also because I know what reputation “American” women have in certain communities.  Not just the one I’m living in. :)

Since moving cross-culturally, I’m processing quite a bit and am just being consistently reminded to be thankful for the freedoms I have in Christ as a woman.  So many friends seem to lack joy because religion has put shackles on them and they are oppressed, objectified and demeaned as women.  Having to be covered, having as adult women curfews at 8 p.m., etc. – it just grieves me.

Christ always elevated women and broke the patriarchal chains that his society cast upon women. So thankful for the ways in which Jesus defied expectations and treated women with respect, love and care.  Thankful he set the example and challenged the status quo.

And all of this cropped up today because I’m wearing a sun dress and want to simply sit outside on my balcony without having to change. Where’s the line between respect for the community I am in and exercising the freedom I have in Christ?  More of a rhetorical question but one I’m currently working out.  Again. ;p  One I’ve worked through before but now my context is different.

;p

momentous occasions

This is quite the weekend.  Thankfully, Mom is with her parents and they are celebrating Father’s Day together.Today would have been Mom’s anniversary with Dad.  Yesterday, was grandmother’s memorial, so now both of dad’s parents are gone and so it made the memorial even more difficult and then today is Father’s Day.  All in the same weekend.  Phew!

I’m actually okay today; I spent a lot of time sobbing and crying yesterday.  Over both losing gramma, papa and my father, as well as the end to a season.  We closed out gramma’s house.  And that house and the cottage is where I spent the first twenty summer vacations.  A lot of memories and life lived up there.  Hard to see it officially end with both grandparents having now passed.

Anyway.  I haven’t started unpacking/working yet.  Maybe I’ll just take the whole day off.

Hmm. :)

reflecting upon others’ kindness

Just had an amazing time with my landlords.  They are the sweetest couple.  They have grandchildren around my age. ;p  They called me up today to say they knew it would be a hard day for me and they wanted to know if I wanted to go for a walk with them.  They went to one of my favorite spots to “hike” – I followed their lead for a while and then realized they weren’t familiar with the area, so I asked if I could show them a path around the pond…I took them through the woods and showed them some of my favorite haunts from my college days…it was a gorgeous day and a good day for walking and visiting.

When they called to invite me I was thinking I really didn’t want to go but I love walks in general and wanted to give them a chance to get to know me, as well…and I knew they were reaching out to me out of love and kindness and that meant a lot.

I can be introverted but once someone convinces me to “come out” I have a blast.  Today was no exception.  It was so nice to get some sun (I put sunblock on, Anna! ;) and see some of the creatures and beauty God has created and share with them bits and pieces of my story.

I think it’ll be fun getting to know them.

Sometimes I feel like with certain types of more refined people, I am an elephant stampeding through their world…even in the ways I communicate or see and live life…but they are great.  :)  I showed up, pony tale with hair that I hadn’t done – just rolled out of bed, so a very loose look, no makeup, black sweat pants and a black tee shirt (that read “National Sarcasm Society: Like we need your support” and both of them were in church clothes – she was wearing a heavy blue jacket suit with matching pearls…and he was in dress pants and a tee shirt ,and so after walking more than an hour in the hot, blazing sun (over 80 degrees today), I’m sweating and they must have been sweating but looked picture-ready.  Hah.

So when she had left a message saying she knew today would be hard and they wanted to know if I wanted to “fellowship” with them, I thought “Oh my.  I don’t know if I want to talk to ostensibly strangers about Dad…I really just want to stay at home and unpack and rest and watch a movie and maybe write about Dad…but I don’t know if I want to do this” but I like walks and like I mentioned, wanted to give them an opportunity to know me better.  (This isn’t a typical landlord situation – they rented their upstairs flat to me for half price because of the kind of work I do, so they are giving me a huge deal and are being a huge blessing to me because they believe in the kind of work I am doing and since I work for a non-profit, I don’t make much.)  Anyway.  I am a story-teller cast in the fashion of both of my parents and so they asked me stories about my life and my father and my grandmother’s memorial and it was just lovely to share with them stories and memories of dad and offer a bit of my life to them.

Too few people ask about my father.  And sometimes when I bring him up, I can just tell people are uncomfortable, unsure of how to respond or what to say and so I often don’t bring him up.  To complicate that, many others’ did not have as great of a father, and so if I share favorite memories of him, I feel bad because I know, consciously or subconsciously they are comparing their father to mine…and I don’t want them to feel sad or do that.  My spiritual director said I’m being ridiculous (she said it much more graciously than that, hah) and that I should give glory and honor to God for having had a great dad…and that I should not feel guilty for sharing the wonderful things about him to others – that it helps paint a more clear picture of what God intended fathers to be…and it takes away from God’s glory and honor if I somehow temper that or feel apologetic about it.  She has a point.  I’m just sensitive to where people are at.  And so sometimes I don’t talk about Dad for that reason.

So when I do get to talk about him, it’s great.

So I am thankful for this elderly couple who reached out to me today when they barely know me and took a chance to ask me if I wanted to spend time with them.  It was a blessing and a gift.

I had mentioned to them last week I was going to my grandmother’s memorial service and they on the spot prayed for me.  They love Jesus and so it is just incredible to be cared for by them.  I spend so much time caring for other people because of my vocation (which I LOVE) but to be on the receiving end…to be in need and be ministered to by someone else…it’s a gift I didn’t expect to receive by moving into this home.

I am blessed. :)

waking up…coffee’s brewing

I was planning to be out of town with my family Friday – Monday but plans changed, so I have today unexpectedly “off” and am dreaming about how to use it. I’ll probably try to get some unpacking and organizing done and maybe get some of my photos and pictures on the wall… :) :) :)
There’s a huge festival that I want to attend but I feel like I just need a “down day” and am trying to figure out if I should venture out or wait until next year.
I also need to start reading. :)

irked

I just came home from an exhausting day – more on that later, but while I ate a dinner of tuna from a package, plain and a drink (to be rounded out later after I rest a bit)…I turned on the t.v., planning to watch a movie and an episode of “COPS” was on and I saw the last four minutes of a sting…a guy got picked up for buying weed and as the cop put him in the police car, he said it was ironic, because the young man had on a bracelet that says “Winners don’t do drug” on one side and “Drug free life” on the other side. The cop seemed bitter to me…and when I heard that, I was just so…sad for the man getting arrested…assuming he was sincere, to want to live such a life and assumingly trying to fight the temptation and remind oneself of the life you want to lead…and to fail and get picked up in a sting and be treated with disdain instead of understanding…so disheartening and sad. I was slightly irked at the cop’s attitude…not because the guy didn’t deserve to be picked up for breaking the law but rather because there seemed like there was little compassion or empathy…

thoughts

I’m twenty-seven and feeling very…old today.  Mostly because I feel my singleness acutely this afternoon.

–

My definition of singleness is that I am single until I say “I do.” So even when I’m dating someone, I’m still single, though attached, until I commit myself to someone for life by saying “I do.”  And there are various commitments I’ve made in my singleness which include keeping myself physically until I give someone that gift in marriage.  And that’s hard.  And sometimes just really sucks and is painful, especially when so many of your friends are married and you’re…well…not.  ;p

–

The farther I get from when my mother bore children, the more strange my life seems to be.  I thought growing up I’d become a mother around the same age as my mother, but I’ve far surpassed her in age now when she first had me, her firstborn.  Such a strange thought.  If and when I do have children, I will be, by necessity be an older mother.  That’s of course, if I marry and if God chooses to give my husband and I the gift of life.

Anyway.

I’m not bemoaning the choices I’ve made in life that finds me here, blogging this afternoon…it’s just strange to think about the reality, sometimes.

–

If I could have looked into my future, it definitely looked much different than what it has unfolded to be – isn’t that usually the case.

Sigh.

I think I’ve been couped up inside sorting through paperwork for much too long today.

And this month is just flying by.

focus

I’m quite tired of sorting through paperwork…box after box.  Yawn.

Trying to push through and not stop when my living room has piles of paper here and there.

la de da da

S. brought me some kefir and I just enjoyed a glass. :)

So refreshing.

It’s a humid, bleak summer day.   I’m making tea, too…for a little pick me up.

I’m going to simultaneously miss my privacy and feedom when my brother moves in this fall and also absolutely love it.  I miss having someone to go on a walk with.  Or just parse life with.

I do really love living completely alone, though.  Relishing this time. :)

I’m a little stir crazy today.

–

Just found thirty dollars in an old birthday card.  Nice. :)

:)

Making progress.

I’m so very thankful for this day off.  This has been such a busy month and I’m tired of living out of boxes.

:)

Very very thankful for today.

:) :) :)

thoughts

Took a day off as a bereavement day…my grandmother’s memorial service is tomorrow; I’ll have to leave at 5 a.m. to make it. Going to be an early morning.

Right now, I’m unpacking my office and organizing…listening to “Wicked.”

It’s really nice to have this space to breathe and think about Gramma. And get some unpacking down finally. :)

I cannot believe it’s almost 3:30 p.m. The day is just flying by.

ramblings

I broke a drinking glass – I’m not really prone to such accidents…but welcome to glass and a hardwood floor meeting…

So, now I’ve stopped to make a cup of tea and drink said tea.

Heard today that Detroit is actually the murder capitol of the U.S.  We usually vy for the first or second spot each year…but the report said that we haven’t fully reported the numbers and have incorrectly categorized some murders as else-wise, so our numbers are higher, thus…making us truly number one and (I am surmising) taking away that “honor” from St. Louis.

I have come to love Detroit and all that it has to offer.  It makes me sad to see how brokenness has affected it and deeply grateful for those who have chosen to work towards its renewal and health and vitality.

Anyway.

–

I’m struggling with my job realities right now; I am having to work a lot of nights due to raising next year’s budget and necessarily having to contact folks after the work day…I know it’s necessary, but I’m struggling with giving up my social life during this season…friends keep asking me over for dinner and I keep having to turn them down.  I’m facing a deadline, though…so hopefully this intense season will be over in a few weeks.

–

My new city requires that the cars be off the streets twice a month from 7 a.m. – 4 p.m.  I am not a fan of this since I work from home.   Today I forgot, but praise God, did not receive a ticket.  Apparently the cops ticket readily and generously, so I’m not sure how I escaped because I didn’t realize it was a street cleaning day until 3 p.m., whereupon I dashed out the door and drove to a coffee shop.  I didn’t want to get a $60 or more parking ticket.

I’m still getting used to changes.

Sigh.

I’m also dreaming of Brooklyn.

I really miss it.

la de da da

“We were broken, didn’t know it.”  – Third Eye Blind

How true this rings of my life as I parse my childhood and adolescence.

Amazing how you have these paradigm shifts.

–

Working on unpacking my office (FINALLY) for the next hour before I get back to actual work.  An appointment I had canceled tonight so I have this extra hour to use and I’m going to unpack. :)

–

I caught up on some sleep last night; very pleased about that. :)

musings and thankfulness

I joined a special team for our region; two others are on the team and with our team leader, that makes  four of us representing our five-state region. :) We had our first two day meeting this week and I’m so thankful I said “yes” to joining this team. (This was an extra opportunity apart from my regular job responsibilities.)
It was a surreal moment to realize that my team leader plans to equip the three of us so that we’ll be “experts” in our respective areas by January 2010. To think I’m part of a creative team, planning and creating curriculum, designing training, testing out our ideas, and then becoming the point people for our respective areas…just blows my mind when I consider my start with this organization just two years ago and then my pronouncement a year ago, in a group setting, wondering if I should be working for this organization. To now. :) It’s been a wild, wild ride.

I’m exhausted as I shared a bed with one of my colleagues last night in another colleague’s guest bedroom and as such, neither she nor I slept well at all. She had a white noise machine that was supposed to be a static fan sound…but there was also a faint “alarm” sound and I just laughed as I lay there, my body aching for sleep, my mind laughing at the ridiculous irony of a sleep machine that sounded like police car alarms going off, repeatedly.

To say I’m tired is an understatement but I have a bunch of phone calls to make tonight for work.
Then I plan to rest tomorrow morning. :)

Good to be home but a great work trip.

beauty from ashes

Saw this today and sobbed.
As I was watching it, I thought to myself “This is a clear picture of what Jesus’ love enables” but I didn’t know where the parents were coming from…then…sure enough…well…just watch. ;)

phew

I’ve had a super long work day and I am going to STOP!!! And prepare for my business trip tomorrow. :)

strange

I wonder what on earth is wrong with me.  I got less than my normal amount of sleep last night but at most by 1 hour and I feel like I’m on the verge of crying and am just so sleepy.  Sigh.  I might go take a nap because this is ridiculous.  And I have a long night ahead of me.

.

Take me dancing under the stars.

–

I just want to be held close right now.

–

Having a very productive day but I’m very tired, yawn.

please sir, don’t you walk away

All I ever really wanted was a piece of you.

-Rachael Yamagata

green

Today’s just been a crazy but super productive work day.

Sigh. :)

I should open up my windows.

I was given a bunch of potted plants.

I have a feeling I’m going to unintentionally kill them.

We’ll see.

I used to garden a lot, etc…but I feel like now I am more forgetful…and not as faithful in that department.  Plus I don’t have a Momma asking if I’ve watered things. ;)

We’ll see! ;p I love greenery.  I have one especially nice green vine-y plant…that just cascades down my bookcase at the moment.  Beautiful.

But yeah.

I can’t have an animal right now due to my schedule.

We’ll see if I can handle some plants. ;)

go

“I think I’ll go to Boston.” – Augustaria