self-reflection on a cold february morn
February 25, 2008 by moriahjoy
Sometimes I wonder if I’m using my gifts to the best of my ability.
Today I randomly stumbled across this note I took in class one time when I was an undergraduate.
My professor worked for the New York Times for seven years, among a long list of other accomplishments in the writing field, including being on NPR, The Today Show, working for Newsday, Business Week, the New York Post, etc. (according to my notes I scribbled down.) I share that only to share his accreditation.
He opened up one journalism class I had with him with the following statement, which totally caught me off guard.
Speaking to my peers, he said, “I’ve had Christen many times - excellent writer. If you have any questions, just ask her, not me.”
In the years since that time, I wonder if I have pursued my gifts as much as I should have. I do intend/desire to freelance once day, but I’m pursuing other dreams/passions at the moment as I get out of law (which is not currently a dream or passion of mine - just something I do to put bread on my table though I can see being passionate about it if I were working in a specific field within law, etc.)…but my true heart, my true love is writing. But I remember staring at two roads, journalism or the legal world and making a decision, and I chose, obviously, the latter. Now I’m leaving that world to work with college students full time in a more coaching/mentoring role that requires me to wear many different hats - whether this will be long term or just 3 - 5 years, I don’t yet know. But…I long to write, to publish, to enter that world vocationally. But would making it my job hamper my absolute joy and passion for the art? I have a voice and I am opinionated enough and passionate enough to want to share it - somehow I don’t think that will be hampered. I just do not wish to end up writing text books, or being a ghost writer while I break into journalism. I’d rather write as I please and will and perhaps freelance as I desire. And yet…
Something to think about as I think about the next five to ten years. Where do I want to be? What do I want to be doing?
The nice thing about writing is that as long as I have a pen and a piece of paper, I can do it no matter what. *grin*
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I also, partially, feel so rusty in my skills. I was talking with a friend last night and he said “I’m getting down your style, I think; you have a very abstract style. It’s delightful.” I had to laugh because whatever style I have has just evolved over the years. I used to be incredibly technical and purposefully so. But perhaps it’s like my father always said when speaking of my protests over his daily grammar lessons, “Christy, you may break the rules only when you have mastered them.” Perhaps I’m just now enjoying to the full extent the ability to break the rules. ;p
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One of the great things about following Jesus is that I can be in the center of God’s will no matter what I do - God’s will being loving him and loving others, becoming more like Jesus every day. So whether I am a barista at a coffee shop, a paralegal at a busy firm, a writer, or work with college students, I can be in the center of his will, and that’s very freeing indeed. And also allows for much liberty to pursue my heart’s desires. =) But that still doesn’t answer fully the pervasive questioning I have - am I using what God has given me to the best of my ability to honor and glorify Him with my life?
A question I believe I shall always been examining and revisiting throughout life.
As it should be. If I might proffer a passionate opinion. ;p
