i am

thankful for restored health and the dawn.

the dawn does come. after a long, restless night.

and i’m not healed fully yet, but strength returns.

and i have a smile upon my face.

not that i need to drag you all through my illness woes.

;)

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“i’m not gonna write you a love song cause you asked for it, cause you need one”

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i don’t want to be with anyone who needs me, but rather, someone who first desires me, and then needs me.

someone who is grounded with God, and then…who asks me to join him and takes my hand.

by that, i mean…it’s one thing to need someone after you’ve come to love them…to be that connected, that to lose them is to lose half of you, a part of your heart, but it’s another to approach a relationship in a position of deep, pervading need…of looking to another to see what they can give you, to see them as the means to filling the hole you have…to satiating the deep emptiness, loneliness or longing…it’s another to desire to have them join your life…and then…finding as your lives entangle that you “need” them.  :)  both are “needs”, but the latter, i would argue is more healthy.

i’ve seen too many couples who just suck each other dry because they aren’t yet comfortable being in their own skin and thus need someone else to say “hey, you’re worthy, you’re okay, you’re lovable.” if you’re always looking for validation, you cannot properly love another, and you’ll suck your significant other dry.

that’s my quick two cents on it. thanks to sara’s song, “love song” for inspiring that quick rant. haha.

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life is changing. work. relationships. friendships. everything.

isn’t that always the case?

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i’m hungry.

i should probably do something about that.

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i cannot decide whether to take only half a day off today or the full day. i need rest. i can make up the hours this weekend.

busy week next week. and a day trip for work to the state’s capital in the middle of it.

hmm.

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i just want to be a little girl and curl up next to dad.

i am missing him especially now. he always soothed my fevered brow when i was sick. and gave me verners and saltine crackers. and told me to gargle with salt water.

and smiled and told me he loved me.

–

one step, two step.

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dance with me.

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tell me, what’s the most pressing thing on your soul?

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carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, eh?

let down your load, hercules.

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give me fire, give me rain, give me passion.

don’t let me settle.

stop, go. but always moving forward.

excellence.

imperfections.

sweet simplicity.

openness.

electricity.

connection. comfortability.

come hither.

take cover.

and watch the fireworks explode.

–

i think i’ll go make lunch. =)