expectancy

Waking up…

“I look at all the lonely people” (Beatles)

Much to do today; my sister is singing/preforming in a benefit concert today; I hope to be able to attend but much on my to-do list before then.

I have the apartment to myself this weekend.

I miss Becca.

Last night, after work, I met up with Andrea at my favorite vegetarian/vegan restaurant for dinner and then we walked around the downtown city - I love people watching - it’s a bit of an artsy/bohemian city-culture - everyone is outside, the lights are on, the soft summer breeze blankets the streets, and there are pedestrians everywhere, not giving much thought to the cars. Andrea and I took a walk after dinner and ended up in resale shop where I found a fabulous top. =) Then I dashed off to attend a baby shower.

It was one of the nicest I’ve been to - about fifteen women crowded into a living room…watched the mother-to-be open gifts for her first child and then had dessert and coffee and just visited. Lovely.

Of course, the hostess had two cats, of which I was not aware, so within five minutes of setting my foot inside the door, my chest started to tighten and then my eyes started watering. I managed to make it two hours before I had to flee and head for a shower. ;p Near the end of the night, I was talking with the hostess - I haven’t seen her too much except at various parties and such. I saw her a lot more when Dad was dying, but I saw so many people then…we were catching up, and I told her that I finally feel “settled” in one sense - the last few years have been a lot of self-realization and reflection, etc. I’m excited about the future, I love the present, and…it’s just a good time of life. I’m twenty-six, and I’ll never get these years back.

She, in her fifties, said, “Christy, you may or may not get married - you probably shall - but enjoy these years - when all of your friends are young and haven’t fully settled down with houses and spouses and children - enjoy the ability to stay up late, to visit, to hang out, to discuss life…these years are special; there are none quite like them. This is a really special time for you - enjoy it.”

I have tried to have that mindset - I hope I succeed in truly embracing the here and now; life seems to fly by so quickly. These years are precious.

When asked, “How are you doing?” my answer is…

Oooooooooooooooh, Coldplay’s “Scientist” came on…love it. Orgasmic.

Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard. Take me back to the start…

Anyway, back to what I was saying…my answer is “excellent.” And it’s truly excellent. My heart breaks for the brokenness of people around me; for this world. But at the same time, there’s a sense of urgency, expectancy, of LIFE.

And if the best in this life is just a small foreshadowing of what is to come…then wow.