hmm

Not happy it’s almost September…where did the summer go?
Life always seems to fly by too quickly.
I’m still sleepy.  working on my third cup of coffee.  Not getting too many hours of sleep here…there are no curtains on the windows and I can hear the city noise…so it’s been a good weekend.  I’m just sleepy. :)  [...]

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morning

Slept in today…sort of.  My body woke me up after six hours but I just laid in bed for another hour or so.  I guess “lounged around this morning” is more like it. :)
Dan, Annika and I are off to breakfast shortly.
It’s warm and muggy…
Enjoyed a cup of coffee while Dan played guitar and Annika [...]

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heartbeat

I came in to Brooklyn late last night and stayed up visiting with Annika and Dan before we turned in.  They’re involved in a seminary- type of class on a once a month basis, so I sat in on it; I wasn’t allowed to speak, so I wasn’t sure how I”d like it;  it covers [...]

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yawn

Crazy, productive day, but so much more to get done before I leave.  Tonight is the students’ “back to school” picnic…I’m going and then coming back here to pack and get ready to leave.
Tomorrow: NYC to visit Annika!  I’m not even bringing another friend for the twenty plus hour trip because I want to spend [...]

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materialism reigns strong in this heart

So.
A girlfriend and I had some conflict to work out this past weekend.  She came over spur of the moment yesterday – to bring me flowers, a card, and make it all right.  She likes to serve to show love. She asked if she could take over doing dishes for me.  I knew it was [...]

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conflict

I’ve had a lot of conflict. Conflict tends to make me want to shut down, run away, tend to my hurts and bruises and walk away from the relationships. I have an all or nothing tendency; in some ways, I think I get that from my father. The music was turned all the way up, [...]

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thoughts

I’ve had a really intense two weeks on a lot of fronts. Took today off. Still had a bit of a full day.
One of my girlfriends with whom I have had a recent conflict and had to work it out the last couple of days came over today to give me a hug, [...]

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musings

From the book “For Men Only” by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn…
Randomly picked up this book this morning – I’ve probably read it three to four times over the years. These quotes struck me this morning…musing on them.
Even if your relationship is great, your mate likely has a fundamental insecurity about your love – and [...]

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pause in the day

I’m teaching a workshop with my boss tomorrow all day.  Finishing prepping now…sleepy…hopefully the afternoon tea will kick in.  Tonight, I am going to the funeral home viewing of a friend’s father who passed away from cancer.
It always takes a lot out of me to go…to initially get over the hump of getting ready and [...]

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break

Early morning student appointment; she’s hanging out listening to lectures I recommended while I do other work around the house; another lunch appointment in a few…hard rain earlier this morning – lovely.

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befuddled

The students and a couple, random post-college guys who showed up stayed until almost midnight – rousing night of discussion with lots of heated debate and raised voices.  I love that kind of time but by the time they left, I was emotionally spent and mentally drained.  (I was facilitating.)  The last two hours after [...]

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momentary

Making homemade chocolate chip cookies; in a few minutes, college students will descend and my home will be sweet and utter chaos for the evening.  Discussion night tonight…we’ll see how it goes. :)
Meanwhile, tonight’s a night for 6 p.m. coffee…bring it on! ;)

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hot

I am exceedingly warm today – all the air conditioners are going…it’s so humid.  I’ll be glad when Fall gets here. :)

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preference

A student just called “I’ve got bad news, good news and so-so news…which do you want first?”
“Give me the bad news first.”
“Uh, I guess I have to give you the good news in order to explain the bad news.”
–
What does that say about my personality? ;)

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life, navigation

I had some panic attacks last night and this morning.  Not sure what you call them…perhaps that’s not the right description…but the moments of clarity when you realize how crazy your life is or could be and you freak out…those moments. :)  I have them regularly.  In the late or early morning hours…”Did I really [...]

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memories

I miss my dad.  He was so handsome and kind and loving.
Was just making coffee in the kitchen and saw him clearly as day, outside in our old driveway growing up, working in the garage, smiling at me, talking to me as I danced around him as he worked.  He always had so much patience [...]

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transparency and privacy

I work really hard at being transparent some times – when I find myself starting to self-edit or leave out bits of my life when talking with a student, I force myself to tell them if it’d be helpful to them to know…and I tend to be really transparent here, but it’s a struggle, especially [...]

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more

I am so tired this morning; did not sleep well or much last night; definitely need coffee.
Long day and week ahead of me.  So much to do.  I’m so sleepy.
Yawn.

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turn back the clock, please

Cannot believe it’s almost midnight.  Finished work around 11 p.m. and this last hour has flown by.
I keep playing “Grace Like Rain” on repeat…sigh.  I never tire of it.
Great day.
So much to do; this next season is going to get insanely busy – looking forward to meeting all the freshmen…but it’ll be a crazy marathon [...]

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crazy

Since I have so little time for blogging these days, my hits per day have gone way down…I like to think not too many folks are reading; just looked at my stats – …my busiest day, 262 visits…that may not seem like a lot, but it’s a lot to me.  Wow.  I forgot about season [...]

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dancing

“Christy, don’t tell me you want all men to like you just so you can reject them, do you?”
I had to laugh when my girlfriend asked me this.  Of course not, but the point she was driving at belied an underlying principle:  I like to know that men find me attractive, that I am beautiful.
Of [...]

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grace, like rain

Spent the last twenty-four hours with my ten year old brother.  We had a sublime time – I hate the hour long drive back to drop him off at Mother’s…I always feel so guilty and sad about not being able to spend more time with him.  And all my other siblings.  Six to be exact.
–
Being [...]

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schedules in conflict

Since I work with college students, I have to adapt my schedule which means more late nights than I would normally choose to have…which also means I sleep in later than most 9 – 5 working adults…this has worked well for quite some time…but my landlords…are early to bed, early to rise, and early to [...]

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life

I technically have a four day weekend this weekend but am working this morning, haha. I have more I want to get done before I meet with my supervisor on Tuesday.
We have an insane amount of time off during the summer to use but that’s because we work nights and many weekends during the [...]

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listening…

to this version of this song…
Didn’t check out the images…don’t much care to…but I love this song…the tune, the lyrics…and this version is a little more mellow than I usually hear…good for post-midnight listening…

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privacy, illusion

For a private blog I work hard to not advertise, 30,000 plus hits is a lot in two years. Haha. I love living under the illusion of it being a private blog. It works for me. I imagine the number of people I know in real life reading who have stumbled [...]

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different version

Blindsided
Confusion all too simply clear
You, me
I wasn’t even aware of
the dance
Hot-mama, the girls say
Sugar-daddy lass
So crass, the formulaic crystal house
They use to enclose
this sweet exchange
And all I’m left with is
the dream of parallel universes
for all the different boys
Where I make all things right
Where this two-step dance
Ends in romance
A parallel universe, complete
With a different version of [...]

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points of contact

Two of my students dropped by this afternoon and brought me pistachio ice cream in darling little containers and we sat around the table and laughed and talked about their recent trip to China.  Then they helped me in my kitchen get ready for some guests later tonight before leaving for their next destination.
I had [...]

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re-vision

Get out of my head
You walked away
Erase the years
Erase the laughter
The tears, the anger
Ease the pain your joy brings
Irony, sweet and biting
You became all you promised you’d never be
And me, I’m left holding the bag
Why, why do this
Addiction, cyclical, the drugs just change faces
Love, passion, insecurity
Your new high
Vandalizing all that is good
And all that you [...]

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give me real

I had a lunch meeting with some of my students today and at the end of our meeting, our conversation meandered into the topic of sex.  I had to head back to the office, though, so one of the students said “Christy, I want to get together to talk about this more because I cannot [...]

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