overload

Oblivious Without a care Jackass extraordinaire Wrapped in a bleeding heart Depth of reality You’ll never know Power wielded, Cumbersome. Intimidation, don’t work here But that’s the problem Emotional compromise Overload. – May 27, 2010

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cake

To all the boys who want to have their cake and eat it, too… I’m not for consumption I won’t be your balm Your rationality Your wisdom Your hope Your comfort Your shoulder to cry on Your emotional support Your best friend Twice removed. I won’t be your dumping ground Your punching bag Your go-to [...]

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tonight.

separating fiction from fact lies from truth habits from freedom present reality from kingdom perspective desires from needs self-awareness from God-awareness immaturity from maturity selfishness from selflessness shadows of love from the real thing. – May 25, 2010

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change has come

Here again. Frustrated. And yet… Changed. No longer captive. Free to walk away. Free to laugh. Free to dance the dance. No longer pining, Hoping, Longing. Portending you care. – May 19, 2010

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different version

Blindsided Confusion all too simply clear You, me I wasn’t even aware of the dance Hot-mama, the girls say Sugar-daddy lass So crass, the formulaic crystal house They use to enclose this sweet exchange And all I’m left with is the dream of parallel universes for all the different boys Where I make all things [...]

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re-vision

Get out of my head You walked away Erase the years Erase the laughter The tears, the anger Ease the pain your joy brings Irony, sweet and biting You became all you promised you’d never be And me, I’m left holding the bag Why, why do this Addiction, cyclical, the drugs just change faces Love, [...]

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sleep

Disconnect. Keep me compartmentalized Neatly wrapped up in a bow, Resting on the dusty recesses of your shelf Pull out when you desire; Then shove back when it’s inconvenient. Blind…dichotomistic…two faces to every man. Two sides to every story. Here, there, everywhere. Your charm can only get you so far. When does the facade fail? [...]

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solitude

A voice without a voice. Stirring but without flesh. The wind blows. And silence still screams.

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You

Touch my soul, renew me. Provision. Comfort. Cling to me. Creative energy. Discernment. Temperate patience. Proactive wisdom. Here, there. Expand the vision. Hone the steps. One day at a time, Take my hand.

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flexibility

life never ceases to surprise me. – surprise! and it rolls on. barely time to catch my breath. roll with it. smile. and kiss the brand new day. this is the stuff of life. surprises you never saw coming. emotional roulette or fodder for laughter? perhaps both. grieve the past. ghosts breeze in to say [...]

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child

envelope me. i need you. i want you. just a girl. walking. one day at a time, one faltering step at a time. mercy. forgiveness. grace. laugh. believe. hope. again and again. doggedly hope. giving everything for love. breathe into me. life.

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now

take me dance pursue me don’t relent i need you more and more i need you

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frail

♫ the human spirit is eternal and frail; can we accept its bounds? it’s frightening to offer oneself without walls; how can we love unless we tear walls down? (jan krist)

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i am

thankful for restored health and the dawn. the dawn does come. after a long, restless night. and i’m not healed fully yet, but strength returns. and i have a smile upon my face. not that i need to drag you all through my illness woes. ;) – “i’m not gonna write you a love song [...]

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new day

Stirring…cold…waiting. Much to do yet stillness pervades. One day, one step, one moment. Serenity; responsibility. Idealism comes crashing into reality. And another day begins.

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outside the box

new crazy challenging demanding energizing draining chaotic symphony start stop learn all over again churn out quality deadline time stands still creativity formulaic quality over quantity content-driven idealistic practical reality synthesize here, there, everywhere coffee tea a little bit wing and a prayer discipline fingers to the keyboard proof edit intuitively weave together masterpiece or [...]

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grant me

Sever the ties Sweet release This is my plea 

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thirst

I’m craving you like the parched, embattered earth, After a long hard winter, Craves the first droplets of a warm spring rain Expectantly waiting for the impending pounding The raindrops making their way down Soaking every nook and cranny.

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pride and money

Woke up, did housework, caught up with my roommate, had coffee, worked out, took a long bath/shower…and am now having leftover Thai from last night…and drinking loads of water. I asked for “mild” curry (with eggplant – YUM) and was given “hot” and the waitress kindly added more coconut milk to help temper the heat…but [...]

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gift: on friendship

i wanna believe down to the letter. -Over the Rhine – Your love washes over me Like the cool waters of a desert spring Over the rough and tumble rock bed Smoothing, softening, caressing Flooding the nooks and crannies. Past bruises from those before Carried away. Lost in your ocean I drown. – God never [...]

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reticent

questions here, there, everywhere. you alone are my center, admist this swirling storm within. start, stop, come, go. bury my head in the sand. wither thou lead? silent heartbeat . stirring. hit the ground. who am i but reticent.

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new day

Swamped Crazy Swirling madness Flurries Smiles Taste of sadness One step Two step Count me in Ready to begin.

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restless

One moment upon another Indescript Solitude Amidst a sea of bodies The comforting hum Pitter-pattering the senses Life Just out of reach Eighteen minutes A lifetime passes Breathe in, breathe out And then, then, your day is over You embrace the drive home Drinking in your freedom

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your name, sir?

Pure and spotless Like the sun-kissed dew Kept myself for you

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forever man

Searching, longing Waiting to rest Falling Into your arms Or an abyss One step Two step Dance the night away Restless rest Ironic so they say Here, there Catch you if I can Where are you My forever man

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the circle spins

Back at the beginning Facing our fears all over again Stop. Start. Questioning lingering Drunken addiction Freedom so sweet The two mixing Lines not so neat Your voice whispers Carries on the wind And my bed is empty Once again.

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anticipation

restless. wondering what’s just around the corner questioning. ready to fall into your arms and just breathe.

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messy heart

blindsided on a lazy saturday morning my compartmentalizing falling short.

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the journey home

Tantalizingly close Yet tortuously out of reach Expectant hope Future reality Seventeen minutes.

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journey

[Again, something from my past...]   Walk by faith Not by sight Fool for you Ridiculed Mocked Pressed on every side Darkness before dawn How much longer Must I battle Weary Tired Angry This isn’t how It’s supposed to be Where’s the simplicity Following you Make sense of it all Show me your love

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